Flower Roots

How To Cope When Your Life Is A Sh*t Show

November 9, 2015 4 Comments

Oh my gosh! How did you get in here?

*covers body with a towel*

It’s all good. I’m glad you’re here!

Hope your weekend was full of laughter because mine was full of phlegm.

Yeah, I’ve been sick.

And now I’m moving away from the possibility of a detailed talk on phlegm.

As usual, I struggle with what to tell you on Monday’s.

I never know if I should focus on what others could be struggling with, or if I should show what I’ve been dealing with in hopes that you relate.

Today, like many other times, I will share my own life.

To be honest with you, it’s easier to share my own concerns and dealings-with because it’s my life so I have the most details and information about it. Another reason it’s easier, though, is that deep down, I hope that I’m right in that everyone relates to everyone.

I write because I want further proof that I myself am not alone.

So, thank you for reading and at least by viewing this, I know I’m not alone writing to nothing.

Instead, I’m writing to the best person I could ever have reading this blog.

Since I’m being vulnerable here, I’m going to further this a pinch.

I’ve had a helluva two weeks.

Here’s some things:

-In the most embarrassing of ways for me, I was rejected by a fella.

(I’m super fine with it, but it’s just another on the list, you know?)

-I got laid off.

(As you read last week, and if not, here it is.)

-Due to great community and God, many generational curses and negative ways I was raised have surfaced, showing just how hesitant and guarded I am from a great future relationship with men.

-To dig deeper, I’ve seen that I’ve chosen men to have crushes on because they seemed the easiest route: a path that would give me no reason for extra effort or means of getting out of my comfort zone.

(As great as it is to learn these things about myself for the long run, it has caused me to feel extremely alone.)

So wow, there you go.

These two weeks have been crazy for my emotions, and I HATE dealing with emotions.

With that said, God has shown me great things with emotions now that there are all up in my grill, and I hope that this reaches to you as well.

It’s okay to have emotions.

We are people, and our crazy emotions stem from different things in our lives. Initially, our emotions are what come first in times of conflict or praise.

We respond with emotion and think logically after the adrenaline subsides.

That’s just who we are.

And as much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s who I am.

Now, that doesn’t mean that this is a great thing to do, but it’s just what we do.

What we need to start doing is embrace our emotions, but embrace them in a way that doesn’t allow us to act on them.

Of course, if someone throws you a surprise party, totally act off of your excited emotions instead of thinking about how crazy your friends are for hiding under a table for fifteen minutes.

But when it comes to conflict, rejection, pain, and loss, we can have emotions when they happen, but it’s important that we don’t respond with them.

Emotions are loudest when we are upset, so if we allow them to take control, we are in for a rocky ride.

I’ve said it before on here, it’s important to share how we are feeling with others so that it doesn’t bottle up.

By sharing what our emotions are saying, we are freeing them from within ourselves, allowing us to deal with situations a bit healthier by having a community hold us accountable.

I was rejected, so I could have gone back into the spiral that I am not worthy or pretty or great enough for a companion.

Instead, I shared what happened immediately, turned the possible tears into laughter, and wore a flower crown the next day to crown how awkward I am instead of hiding how shameful I could be.

I got laid off, and I could have become darkened with stressing about money or feeling little because I no longer have my “big girl” job that showed everyone I was grown up.

Instead, I stood up, humbled myself, and immediately started looking for something else. During that, I realized the forgotten passions I’ve had in the writing world and how they have been put on the back-burner because I was too busy trying to “adult.”

I’m 23. I’m far from an adult.

I think I’ll say that when I’m 50 too.

All this word vomit to say, recognize that the emotions are there, because emotions require attention.

Then, take a breath.

Realize that the world is not ending.

Do the robot (or your dance move of choice (the robot is mine)).

Move on.

We are humans and we are always going to be emotionally unstable initially.

But in order to not be defined by those emotions, we need to decide how we are going to respond to them.

Because no matter what happens, and no matter how we initially feel about what happens, we are awesome and we are strong enough to move forward.

You are awesome.

You are strong enough to move forward.

I challenge you to do three things for me and for yourself:

  1. Surface the emotions.

  2. Share them to someone you trust to release them.

  3. See that you rock, and move forward.

We are cool as hell people put into not as cool circumstances often.

So don’t lose sight of how cool you are even in the most heated of situations.

(Re-read that because it’s true and I’m proud of my word-play)

Love you guys,


Karlye Hayes


  1. Reply


    November 11, 2015

    Reading your post as I am sitting under a mountain of blankets because I’m sick because my heart is sad because being a human is hard. Thank you for honesty and sharing. I needed to hear this.

    • Reply

      Karlye Hayes

      November 11, 2015

      Oh man, Krysta! I am so glad this could bring us together on the same playing field. You are not alone and being human is hard as hell all of the time for all of the humans!

  2. Reply


    November 12, 2015

    You’re definitely not alone. 🙂 Thanks for the kind and real words!

    • Reply

      Karlye Hayes

      November 12, 2015

      Thank YOU so much for reading!