By the looks of your face, I can tell that you naturally are just killing the game in life, even if you don’t believe that yourself.
I hope that this past weekend left you wanting more out of life than what you’ve grown content with.
So as you have read in past posts, I have become insanely blessed with thousands of things going on in my life. With my nerd-dream-come-true job, new friends, actual purchases being made for my greeting cards, and more opportunities to love on others, it has been hard to actually complain about going, going, and going because all of these things have been blessings.
So I just keep going, going, and going without stopping.
I’ve worked almost every day, I’ve helped others in their trials, I’ve tried meeting with anyone and everyone who wants to meet for coffee or meals, and I’ve even taken on loads that I’m not qualified to take for the sake of releasing the weight off of their shoulders.
I’m not saying any of this to boast about my giving heart. If anything, I’m trying to show you what I’m doing wrong.
Yes, we need to love our neighbors, but we have to love them the way we love OURSELVES.
Did you see anything on the list of to-do’s having to do with myself?
I freaking didn’t either.
In the midst of trying to please everyone for the glory of God, I have been zooming so much that I haven’t even noticed the glory of God. Unintentionally, I took on so much weight that I didn’t have a moment to breathe out a prayer or notice of His hand in all of this.
Now when you’re loving on someone, God is definitely involved, especially when you are doing it out of love and nothing else.
But, that doesn’t mean that you’re not needed to stop spinning for a second to see where you’ve landed. We get so lost in giving constantly that we forget to receive that true Peace and Energy that keeps us going in the first place.
Without making that pit stop, you’re never able to finish the race and finish it well.
This past weekend truly broke me. I pushed myself farther than I needed to by helping with a major event that I had no knowledge of or handle on whatsoever. So with my not-knowing self, I was at the space for over 12 hours running around and doing whatever needed to be done. During that frantic time, I was also getting negative feedback from people I was catering to because I wasn’t getting what they needed done quicker. Of course, I ended up having to do the bidding of many people, so with one body, I was not able to handle all of their necessities when they needed them.
And instead of taking a second to ask God for His strength, I kept running and kept wondering where the free beer was.
I kept running, and running, and running
and also drinking.
A group of close-knit friends were attending this event, and like the wonderful people they are, they physically forced me to stop. Not having realized that I had not eaten since before 10 a.m., one of them bought me a hot dog while the other took my clipboard away, anchoring me to that spot to breathe and just be.
*I almost started crying to release the pressure, but that’s very typical of me to do and I was wearing makeup, so I didn’t.*
Those 5 minutes meant the world to me, but because my mind was still racing, I wasn’t able to fully appreciate their true love.
*Hey D-Vegas peeps, this is me appreciating your splendid friendship.*
So I kept running, and at 1 a.m. I placed my head on my pillow at home, hoping to get enough sleep to lead at my church early the next morning.
My going mindset followed me to church, and so I wasn’t looking to anyone else to help. I was the one to make everything right, so I needed to do that. I tried praying, but I was too busy trying to make everything work out for everyone.
Long story short, I received that morning not just everyone being there for me but also God yelling at me to slow down and pray for myself for once. I always pray for the church on Sunday, but how can I help lead it when I’m not even praying for the well-being of myself?
I just kept receiving wonderful words.
You can take a break, Karlye.
You’re not alone in this.
It’s why we are a team, a family.
I’m not alone.
I can’t please everyone.
I can’t help everyone on my own.
I can’t make everyone happy no matter what my intentions are.
I need a community.
I need a family.
I need help.
What’s great is I already have all of this, but I was spinning too quickly to notice them.
I hope that you realize the same.
You have a community. You have a family. And if you feel as if you don’t, you either are missing them or not wanting to find them.
You cannot and will not get through this life alone.
And if you do, what good is that?
Congratulations, you fought through life all by yourself. Now who do you get to tell that to and share that with?
No one. Just you.
Don’t choose the hero lifestyle. There’s a reason why even heroes have super powers.
They can’t do anything by themselves without them.
Consider the people around you your super powers.
Plow through life together.
Love you guys.